Death, and Jealously

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We’re all going to die.  Yup, it’s true, we are.  Some sooner than others, some peacefuller than others.  I just wanted to tell everyone, that I’m not scared of dying.  Not one bit.  In all honesty, I’m fucking jealous.  Jealous that while I’m in heaven, hopefully, everyone else will be in line at Starbucks ordering their Venti Chai Lattes.  They’ll get to see the Sun rise the next day, I won’t.  They’ll get to see the Sun set too, I won’t.  I’m jealous.  Now, if everyone dies, I’m cool with that.  I just can’t fathom the idea of the world continuing to go on with me not on it.  It’s not fair.  I don’t care that I don’t know what’s on the other side, whatever it is, I’ll get used to it.  I moved halfway across the country without knowing a single soul, found my roommates off Craig’s List – I think I can handle the other side.  Now that I think about it, you could say I’m greedy.  You know what?  You’re absolutely right.  I’m greedy as hell!  I’m greedy and jealous.  If I have to go, everyone else better go with me.  Sadly, I think this is the feeling that most of us experience, we just don’t know it.  We confuse being greedy & jealous with being scared.  We’re not scared of dying, we’re fucking jealous, jealous and greedy…and on that note, Happy New Year!!

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